“Can i love deeply myself or others, if i only like those “likable” qualities of me and others, but dislike those, which make me feel uncomfortable?
False light only glows a little-bit in darkness and is like a mosquito-killer-lamp.
Real light enlightens darkness, so we can see, but it takes away all our hopes and fixes.To love negative qualities doesn’t mean they are not harmful to me or others, some of them surly are, but it means to reduce dramatically their impact on me and give way less energy into compulsive and addictive behavior.
When i start to even love my addictions or any other negative behavior, sensation, emotion or situation, it is a game changer. Any negative behavior feeds on negative emotions of any kind.
Understanding, acceptance and Love, brings positive energy and consciousness.Down below are some of those human qualities, which we dislike in our selves or others and which we need to understand, accept and even love, if we want to deeply love ourselves, others and live an awakened life. As long we don’t love them, we either live them ourselves, attract them into our lives or project them on others.
However, now comes the most important clue.
If we force ourselves to love or accept anything, we actually create another common hindrance on our path (which paradoxically is also good, because any hindrance is creating pressure, which forces us to open to reality).This important hindrance is the beLIEve, that something is wrong in us and needs to be fixed.
When we are sick, we need to treat ourself or if we have a stone in the shoe, we take it out, but how many of us are addicted to the believe that something is wrong, even after sickness and the stone are gone?
Then again, even when we are sick, we still can be OK and accept to be sick, but do what we can, to recover.
If we can accept our situation as it is and realize that we are not wrong and life is not wrong, then we can live without resistance; Yet, we don’t NEED to accept. Let it come to you gently by itself without force, by invitation.
Our depression, tiredness, negativity or any sense of lack or wrong being/doing, are only existing in the future or in the past. We feed them by believing and holding on to them. As an example, we may feel the sensation of Depression/Emptiness within our heart or anywhere else and believe that sensation, which we feel, to be the ultimate proof for our depression. Yet, if we TAKE AWAY the THOUGHTS, (or the believe in them), :“this sensation IS depression“, “this sensation IS bad for me”, “I need to get rid of it“, ” i don’t need it“, “i need to overcome it by feeling it deeply“, “I need to avoid it“ or “i need to fix it”…then all we experience is a sensation and eventually we discover, that it is pure energy, power, Joy, and even more then that (more at the end).All we need to do is uncover our believes, so our awakening, which is already there, if we are seeking it, can breath us freely. Similar to the 3th Matrix Movie, where Neo realized, that the machines are actually made out of pure light, after he lost his eyes (his judgment).
Actually we don’t even NEED to find our believes. The believes will find us. Awakening is already there. We need to trust it. We do not even NEED to trust. Trust is already there. We need to open for it. We don’t even NEED to open for it. Its there, can you see it? If you can not see it, its still there. If you don’t believe it, how wonderful! If you don’t trust, how great is that! Doubt is beautiful, Its life energy, Doubt is in-itself awakening in action. Can You see how beautiful Doubt is? How it is shaking You up? You are on the Way, without doing nothing. Nothing is doing You!
Any pain, discomfort, any thought or emotion, pleasant or unpleasant, negative, positive or neutral is that ONE Life-Energy. It is made of love. It is God itself. Without judgment, even judgment becomes pure light, pure love. Without judgment hate becomes love. Without judgment, pain becomes love. Without judgment love is surrender and surrender is the whole universe, that which has no name.For me the times, when i feel not good, hurt, suffering,needy, a crises, insecure (financially), unfulfilled, tired or depressed, brought later on great understanding, insides and powerful motivation to let go or change something towards more light. All those „negative“ experiences are actually awakening in action! They shake us up so hard, that all our BeLIEves drop out and come to light; All our conditioning, which hinders us to be awakened; to be, what we already are.
After some years in the Zen-Monastery i suddenly dropped all believes of lacking and needing something to attain or to master or to become. I suddenly was complete, without anything to do. It was totally right without any doubt. I just was and all just was, simple and not mystical at all, like other experiences, i had before. No ecstasy, no excitement. Just being simple and plain, everything on the right place in the right time. I realized how much my struggle to „get somewhere“, was one of the reason of my suffering and blindness, to what i was from the start. I did not need to go to the monastery, nor do meditation, to come to that point. That´s what i understood clearly and after 4 years i left. Meditation and monastic life are an experience, that i don’t want to miss in my life, but they are not responsible for awakening. Its just an experience that I personally needed, not more or less. My search for awakening was, because i already was awakened, but blind to it.
To realize that i am not wrong, does not mean that iam right.
I can say that you are lazy and if i don’t like your laziness it is surly my projection of a quality which i don’t like inside my own self. However i can still be right that you are lazy and wrong at the same time, because i don’t recognize it within myself.
If i say that you are lazy without any judgment, i may be alright with that quality within myself.
No Matter what i did or say in the past, i was not wrong, but i wasn’t always right either.
Sometimes i project more then i reflect. If you didn’t reacted on my projections in any way, you may be able to forgive my stupidity.What we seek is what we already have within.
All we need is find the believes that hinder us to be, what we already are.
Meditation or therapy is not the way. Focus, Mindfulness, Expansion, Yoga, Love, being aware of the inner pain, healing emotions or trauma, neither.
Now this is important to grasp: I don’t mean that you shouldn’t meditate, heal, feel within or be aware of your inner feelings, sensations, emotions, thoughts, energy and consciousness –
What i mean is to be free of the believe, that I MUST BE aware of it or heal. That, if I don’t, I am wrong or bad. That I MUST meditate and if I don’t I waste my life. That I Must keep my energy and work hard for awakening and if i don’t, I will never get there. That awakening is something special, which i don’t know yet. As long I believe that I must, I may feel pressure and may not experience how awakening is coming to me, without the need of me coming to awakening. Awakening, as it happened to me in the Zen monastery, is often hard to maintain, as long I still believe in those thoughts and don’t love myself including my shadows.We are all-ready the way .
We are all-ready the Dao .
Our very search for happiness, healing and awakening is all-ready Right Here, Right Now; BUT please do not beLIEve in that. Find out which believe hinders you to actually be it.
Then again our search for healing/enlightenment and our need to be fixed, isn’t bad.
Its what wakes us up and gives us energy to deepen and understand.
All the technics are only tools to show us our believes, which block our vision. They are finger-pointers towards the moon, which is there, but how many of us focus on the finger rather seeing the moon..
Our only task is to recognize perfection in the imperfection of ourselves, others and our life’s-
Not by forcing us to do so, but by finding our believes, which hinder us of being, what we already are.
It sounds crazy, but even 20 years of therapy and meditation will not lead us there, indeed can even bring us further away; But one moment of recognizing a beLIEve, can change the perception of our life instantly, if we are ripe.
Any BeLIEve is a a Lie, even if it is based on truth.
So when will we be ripe?
When we don’t believe anymore, that we are not..Some Qualities we dislike in ourselves and others.:
Even if all life on earth will torture itself to death, the universe will still be as it is. When we are free of believes, our hearts are free to love all life.
Laziness, Fear, Ego, Emptiness, Narcissism, Arrogance, Ignorance, War, Torture, Weapons, Animal-abuse, Pollution, Child-abuse, Chaos, Confusion, Closed heart, Weakness, Addiction, Money, Rich, Poor, Look, Stupidity, Aggression, Being dull and simple, Being Nobody/Nothing, Being unsuccessful or successful, Ugliness, Pornography, Abusive feelings or behavior, Hate, Greed, Jealousy, Horniness, (sexual)Desire, sickness, Body-weight, Drug abuse etc..
As long we don’t understand those Qualities and recognize them within our own self, we cannot be free of them and the world will continue to produce as a collective consciousness, what we push away and neglect individually.
All crimes are fed by fear and separation, which are fed by each individual lack of owning their own shadows, as C.J.Jung stated. Even Pedophilia or the wish to kill somebody is a potential within each human, according to the Dalai Lama and until we don’t see it and accept that notion within our selves, we encourage others energetically, to do it for us.
As long we believe in innocence of children without seeing innocence in all living beings, we subconsciously encourage pedophiles to harm children, since it is exactly what makes them want to posses, what they believe to lack within themselves. Everyone inherits innocence as a potential, even if he is not innocent .To love myself ultimately means to even love, not loving myself. To love my judgment, to love my or someone’s closed heart, to love hate or any other painful or negative emotion or sensation.
This defines the difference between superficial love, based on egoistic judgment, which by the way needs to be loved too and unconditional love, based on integration and transformation.
Egoistic love is based on fear and brings separation, more crime and negativity.
Unconditional love brings us into peace, love and unity.Once we are able to accept a negative Sensation within ourself, without any resistance or aversion, the barrier between I and Sensation drops. There is not even anymore an “I feel the Sensation”, but “the Sensation feels/fills me”, until Unity and freedom of Separation/Ego-Identification, remains.
Jion Blonstein
